struggle...

I'm really struggling with this whole boy issue.  I fall for him more every time we hang out, and I want to be able to show that I really care about him, even though I'm scared of being judged for liking him.  However, whenever we're in a group situation, it's like I don't exist.  And the whole fact that he's hanging out with another girl too, make me feel like a mistress in a sense and I hate that.  It feels degrading.  I want to be able to say goodbye and move on with my life and meet someone new, but it's hard to do that here, and a whole big part of me doesn't want to lose him, even just as a friend.  I feel like I've known him forever and am supposed to know him forever in the future.  When we hang out it feels natural and comfortable and I can be my true self, show my fears and quirks, show my passions, my enthusiasm for things, my silliness.  I've never felt like that with a guy before.  He completely accepts me for who I am, and makes me feel more adventurous.  I'm scared to show any of the passion that I feel because I'm not sure that would be reciprocated and I'm scared of getting really hurt again.  But I'm living in confusion and it's making it really hard to concentrate on schoolwork, something I should be doing right now.  *le sigh*

zen room and transcripts

I can never think of better titles.  Last night I took the small tv out of my room and I'll take it home next weekend.  I wasn't using it, the sound is getting funny and I wanted to put a mirror that I have on my bureau.  It definitely makes my room feel more calm.  Now if only I could move my desk somewhere else and have a nice big comfy arm chair for reading in here... Next year if I'm living by myself I'm going to cash out the money that I've saved by living in the cheapest place in Harrisonburg for the last 4 years and get a 2 bedroom place so that I can have a study and keep the computer out of my bedroom.  If Annalisa and I both end up in the Triangle area in NC, we're going to live together and get a 3 bedroom place to have a study/library.  It's already been decided. ;o) But who knows where I'll be next year.

The two applications that I've looked at so far are both online and request your degree and what it's in.  Meaning I would have to fill out B.S. of Athletic Training when applying for a Social Studies teaching job.  Meaning that they would take one look at my application and pass it on.  So I'll be heading to the registrars office today to discuss what I need to do (who I need to pay) to get the fact that I've completed every class (plus more) for a B.S. in Interdisciplinary Social Sciences, but don't have the title on my transcript.  I don't even want money back for paying as a grad student to complete undergrad classes (which was twice as expensive as being an undergrad).  I just want to be able to find a job.  Altho possibly spending the majority of the summer in Europe is going to make it hard to find a job here, maybe I should look over there...

I wanna be a Theta...oh-oh-oh!

It's recruitment time here at JMU and I'm helping Theta out as much as I can this week which meant being here until 10:30 on Thursday night, skipping out on Friday to do homework, heading to Ashland on Saturday for a Theta Advising workshop and being back here at the house today until about 6.  Yay!  They're doing really well (in my opinion) and I hope it results in a really good group of new members.  (We don't say pledges anymore...that's TNT: Totally Not Theta)  Yesterday was a great affirmation of continuing to be involved with Theta this year as an advisor.  I'm glad that I'm not active because I would not be able to handle that, not sure how Christa (chapter president) does it being in grad school like me.  Granted I'm taking more credits than she is, but still, classes are crazy!  But the workshop was great, got to know Mallory one of our other advisors better, got to meet advisors from other chapters, got to hear that we're not that bad off here at JMU, especially since we're so new and still do everything by the book.  I met the advisors from Duke so if I end up near there next year I can help out with them, maybe not the first 2 years of teaching, but definitely after that if I'm still in that area.  I know for sure now that I want to continue to support the Fraternity in whatever way I can in the future, especially as an advisor!

3 more parties today!  Almost done!

turning a leaf...

Yes, i did get home a 2am last night and yes, it was a wednesday night.  It was a friends birthday, which started out as dinner at Union Station (pretty good, nice atmosphere), proceeded to Jack Browns and then made our way to Finnegan's.  The group left Finnegan's around midnight to head our separate ways, but because everyone else lives downtown they can drink and walk home.  I wasn't quite ready to drive home yet, so i went with Friend back to his apartment to get a glass of water, sit for like 20 minutes and then be able to drive and not be an imposition.  Well that 20 minutes turned into 2 hours spent talking after which I was completely sober, but tired and forgot to turn on my lights driving for about 2 blocks.  There were street lights so I could see, but it made me feel like an idiot and really glad I didn't get pulled over.  The story would have gone like this: "sorry officer, the streets are so well lit that I didn't need my lights to see and thus forgot to turn them on, no I'm not drunk, not even tipsy or buzzed, I'm just tired and confused after hanging out with a friend who can't decide whether he wants to be more than a friend to me or another girl.  I'll turn on my lights and have a good night!"  Oh so confusing!

It's officially fall now, but it feels like the middle of summer...hello climate change!  Highs in the 90s today? Seriously?  uggg, I just want cooler weather so I can wear boots!

weekend in the Star City

After the football game on Friday night (Broadway creamed Central) I drove to Roanoke, arriving at Lindsay and Tom's house around 1am.  There must have been a pick-up truck convention because besides Mac trucks, pick-up trucks were the only other vehicles on the road that night.  crazy!  I passed out pretty fast that night and then was woken up at 7 to get ready for the Marine 5K Mud Run we were doing.  Lindsay's friend Koko was doing it with us and got to the house around 7:15.  We took Logan (5 months) with us while Tom and Patrick (age 4) followed a little later to the race site.  Just before the race started we passed Logan off to Tom.  The course wound through a huge park, through a meadow, into the river, along the road, into a mud pit, up a mountain, along the ridge, down the hill, fording a river, back along the road and into the final mud pit that you pretty much have to swim through.  It was awesome!  I was actually able to jog half of it without my lungs complaining, which is an improvement over the last few weeks.  They still need work to get the asthma under control.  After the race we were covered in mud, used the showers that the fire dept set up and then changed by the car in order to head to lunch at Mac & Bobs in Salem.  Yum!  That afternoon I could feel a cold coming on and I was exhausted from the morning, but a nap didn't really happen.  I got to hang out with Tom on the porch, we had a fabulous dinner and then started to watch the Book of Eli after putting the kids to bed.  I didn't last and had to go to bed before the movie ended.  Sunday I got to sleep in a bit and got woken up by Logan coming to snuggle.  He's such a happy baby and trying to crawl.  I had to keep him from diving off the bed onto the floor.  It was a slow morning and I ended up heading out around 2pm to get back to JMU.  Visiting them now post-children is very different and we don't get the same amount of time to hang out and catch up, but it was still good to see them and get to catch up a bit.  It was especially interesting after lunch with Amanda on Friday, but that will have to be another post as I have to get to practicum.

success quote

"Success is about making your life a special version of unique that fits who you are. Not what other people want you to be"

sustainability and growth

we're reading an article for inquiry class about sustainability and the major theme is that population growth is the major fault for issues of sustainability.  i agree in some senses, because as the population grows you do need more resources for them (or they use more resources).  i've always thought of myself as a fairly sustainable person.  i walk places, i recycle, i turn off the lights and keep the heat low (much to my roomies' chagrin) but reading about this has made me think.  i've always wanted a big family, lots of kids to fill the house and to feed, but the article is making me re-think that.  i still want a family, don't get me wrong, but what about setting an example for the rest of the world by self limiting ourselves to 2 kids.  is that so bad?  obviously we can't make any laws determining the number of kids you can have.  but my thought is that if you want more than 2 kids (and can support more than 2) why not adopt to fill your family.  i know that takes extra money, and i wish that it wasn't so complicated and expensive a process, but that's what i'm thinking i want to do.

real teaching vs. education school

Today I was told that in real teaching (meaning once you have a job) you don't have time for activities in classes with SOLs, you don't differentiate, and you never pre-assess, three things that we have to do in school.  I have an entire class in differentiation!  Why can't school be more practical?!?!?

So you think you know how to study

My dad told me about an article in the NYT today that made him think of me.  Called Forget what you know about good study habits, the article discusses some of the common tips about studying and how they are wrong.  For example, a study found that students who studied the same content in two different rooms did better than students who studied that same content in one room.  So finding a single quiet place to study is not always the best idea.  Then another study discussed how students were taught 4 math principles together and given practice sets of mixed problems (some from principle 1, some from principle 2, etc) and did better than the group that was taught principle 1, then given problems on principle 1, then taught principle 2 and given problems on only principle 2, etc.  Which goes to show that you should study mixed content rather than focusing in depth on one big topic.  All of this got me thinking about methods and how to help students learn the best in my classroom.  From the room study I want to try changing the arrangement of the classroom and the decor every-so often to provide students with a "new" place to learn. From the concept tip, I want to have exams with multiple contents so that they don't focus on one topic but learn them together in connection to each other.  Then in the article there was another study about how students who studied 12 artists all mixed up together learned better than those that studied each artist individually.  So rather than examining all Picasso and then moving to Renoir, study them together and find the comparisons, how are they different, how are they similar.  That makes me think about teaching topics based on themes, so instead of teaching about the facts, names and dates of the invention of the printing press, you teach the concept of information literacy and information revolution within the context of the printing press (1440s, everyone mad about the invention, less control of government with people able to read, etc) and then have students compare it to other information revolutions.  To connect it to their lives, ask them whether the internet is an information revolution.  That connects the printing press to something that they know about (the internet) through the theme of information revolutions.

Someone give me my own classroom!  (World History please!)

12 month paid vacation?

There was a tweet this morning asking "what would you do with a 12-month paid vacation?"  I would travel around the world visiting every continent (maybe skipping Antarctica), eating food, seeing sights and writing about it in travel journals like my great-grandparents did so that my future children could read about it.  I'm kinda jealous that Mother-Bod (my great-grandma) got to visit Egypt and climb the pyramids, which are now closed to the public because they're falling apart.  I'm sure having kids climb on them helps them fall apart faster.  But yea, I'd include learning how to sail in that which would take a few things off my bucket-list.  What would you do with a 12 month paid vacation?

Teaching MRI and x-rays

For my practicum class we're doing some peer teaching before we go out into the schools, and they want us to focus on science and technology because they've been told that we're not as strong in that.  I would say that's pretty strong for me, but I am an AT so there's the big difference.  Anyways, we have 10-12 minutes to do a mini lesson and I chose medical imaging, which I've decided to focus on x-rays and MRIs. I feel like I could write a 90 minute lesson easily going through the history and then teaching them how to read the different images and image what life was like if you were injured in the time before imaging.  But I don't know how to do it in 10 minutes and what they should get out of 10 minutes, and then how to make it interactive and fun.  I think that MRI is more interesting than x-rays, but maybe I should just focus on simple and do x-rays and leave it at that.  Gah!