struggle...

I'm really struggling with this whole boy issue.  I fall for him more every time we hang out, and I want to be able to show that I really care about him, even though I'm scared of being judged for liking him.  However, whenever we're in a group situation, it's like I don't exist.  And the whole fact that he's hanging out with another girl too, make me feel like a mistress in a sense and I hate that.  It feels degrading.  I want to be able to say goodbye and move on with my life and meet someone new, but it's hard to do that here, and a whole big part of me doesn't want to lose him, even just as a friend.  I feel like I've known him forever and am supposed to know him forever in the future.  When we hang out it feels natural and comfortable and I can be my true self, show my fears and quirks, show my passions, my enthusiasm for things, my silliness.  I've never felt like that with a guy before.  He completely accepts me for who I am, and makes me feel more adventurous.  I'm scared to show any of the passion that I feel because I'm not sure that would be reciprocated and I'm scared of getting really hurt again.  But I'm living in confusion and it's making it really hard to concentrate on schoolwork, something I should be doing right now.  *le sigh*